Wish-Lists: Heaven or Hell?

I did my Christmas shopping today. I did it all online. I took a deep breath and accepted the fact that Amazon were going to charge me £3 for wrapping each DVD and justified it in terms of time, stress, train fares and coffee-stops saved. In the space of three hours I managed to shop for Brett, my sister, my mum and Owen; everything is gift-wrapped and on its way and I am totally relaxed and sipping a cup of (homemade!) coffee. I’ll shop for my dad as soon as he gives me a wish-list of things he wants.

I consider wish-lists a kind of double-edged sword though; they make it easier for the modern cash-rich, time-poor consumer to buy you the things you actually want, but they also remove most of the joy from gift-giving as everything you receive is more or less ‘expected;’ there are no surprises. I sometimes feel myself mentally going down my wish-list, ticking things off as Christmas morning progresses. Surely that’s not how it’s supposed to be? There is no joyful surprise in that.

Years ago, a doll or a wooden model train would be any child’s dream come true. Nowadays there is so much variety on offer that you have to be told what people want or you have very little chance of getting it right – especially as we are often more distant in space and interests from our nearest and dearest compared to people only fifty years ago. For example, I had no idea that my mum was getting interested in organic gardening and thinking of starting to grow her own food again; I would never have thought of looking for the books on her wish-list.

So why do we buy gifts at all? If it’s such a hassle to do and the recipients aren’t getting any pleasant surprises from our efforts, why do we do it? If it’s not for the joy of the recipient, is it for our own happiness? Are we maybe trying to buy love? Or are Christmas and birthdays now just acute cases of runaway commercialisation? I certainly spend more on gifts for other people than I would rationally spend on ‘gifts’ for myself – and I can afford it, whereas you hear of many who can’t but are ‘guilted’ into running up debts, because these days ‘doing without’ just isn’t an option.

I’m not sure of the logic behind that – but then neither am I sure of the logic of buying Christmas and birthday gifts any longer. Should I become a latter-day Scrooge, at least to the extent of dispensing with the commercialisation but keeping up with the social aspect, or should I hold to the tradition (of reaching for the credit card)?

Or am I just living in some miserable, secluded (deluded?) world totally different from your experience of Christmas and giving gifts? Answers in the Comments section please!